Truth My Kids Will Know - You Weren't Made To Hook Up

 Lie #6 - "It's Just A Hook-up, It's Not A Big Deal."

A recent survey showed that thirty to forty percent of people think the right time to begin having sex is around the third date. Ten percent of the people asked said they expected sex at the end of the first date! But this was from a poll taken from people who still decide to date. The reality is that more and more people don't "date" anymore.

The current trend is to meet up for sex and then never talk to each other again. It's just not that big of deal anymore. Sex has become just a transaction...as if it were a "for sale" post on some website or app.

"Restaurants near you! Coffee shops near you! Find someone to hook up with near you!"

You're being lied to!

Sex Is More Than A Physical Act

We're talking about an incredibly emotional and intimate connection, for both men and women. Sex isn't meant to be casual physical contact that is otherwise divorced from a genuine relationship. It's absolutely not something that virtual strangers should share!

Paul had to confront this casual attitude toward sex when he wrote to the Corinthian church. In Corinth, meaningless sex was a normal part of the culture. Very few people in Corinth considered it to be any more than a recreational act. There were thousands of prostitutes (male and female) in the city, and were available at any time day or night. This was the environment surrounding the Corinthian church. And apparently, a lot of the church members didn't know that lifestyle was no longer acceptable for them.

Paul wrote this very clear warning against casual sex in 1 Corinthians 6:16 (TLB) - and it's one that still applies to us today: "And don't you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute she becomes a part of him and he becomes a part of her? For God tells us in the Scripture that in His sight the two become one person."

What you're not being told is that there's more to this act than skin-on-skin. Sex was designed for use in a permanent relationship. 

Sex carries permanent consequences:

 - Long-lasting memories

 - Emotional connections

 - Heart and soul ties to other people

These are beautiful consequences....when sex remains inside a marriage. I'm speaking from experience on this one: As a virgin on my wedding night, these are things that I will only share with my wife - and that makes ours a solid and secure marriage.

But these permanent consequences are devastating when this act occurs outside of marriage. How many men have memories in their head of women other than who they're with at the time? How many women still have emotional ties to guys that are no longer in the picture? How many times have ladies been left with emotional and physical damage, while the guys move on to their next target? 

And there are other, more dangerous effects of sex outside of marriage:

- 20% of the US population currently has an STD

- 5 out of 10 teenagers that decide to have sex will have an STD before they're 25 years old

- One-fifth of high school girls in America currently have an STD

Why is this considered "normal"?

Of course, we haven't even touched on the most permanent result of having sex - in or out of marriage: Kids!

In 1990, only 28% of kids were born to unmarried parents. But in 2016 (the most recent survey), that rate had gone up to 40%. I suspect that rate has gone even higher in the last four years. These are nationwide averages - but in some areas, those rates are much higher. There are entire neighborhoods across this country where you wouldn't be able to find one child with married parents.

Statistically, being born to a single parent is a huge obstacle for someone to overcome and succeed in life. Children raised without a mom and a dad are more vulnerable to predators, more likely to drop out of school, less likely to retain a job, and more likely to commit crime. What's worse, kids raised by single parents are likely to become single parents themselves - and pass along this disadvantage to their own children. 

And yet, no one sees the connection between casual sex and the challenges faced by kids with only one parent. Do schools even teach about the natural results of sex any more? People do realize that sex and having kids are not unrelated - right?

Sex Is Awesome!

Did you know that God personally designed your body? He designed us to work this way...right down to the minute details. This means that sex was His idea first! (Just look at Proverbs 5:18-19 if you don't believe me!) He gave us both the software (i.e. the desires) and the hardware (i.e. the body parts) to function this way. 

Sex is NOT a bad thing in and of itself.

My pastor makes the perfect comparison between sex and a fire.

When there's a fire in your fireplace or inside a campfire ring, it's a wonderful thing that can bring warmth, light, and delicious food. But fire is also one of the most destructive forces on the planet. What makes the difference between fire as a blessing and fire as a disaster?

One word: BOUNDARIES. A fire, like sex, can destroy everything when it get's outside the proper confinement.

God didn't leave us in the dark - He gave us clear instructions for sex.

Hebrews 13:4 shows us the intended boundaries: "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed [that would be the married sex life] undefiled; but fornicators [fornication is any sexual gratification outside of marriage] and adulterers [those who break their marriage covenant] God will judge."

When you try to figure out sex on your own - apart from God's instruction - you never see its real potential. Sure, you may get a thrill here and there, but the true joy will be missing. Inevitably, if you don't pay attention to God's instructions, you'll end up with "scorch marks" in your life where sex crossed the boundary. 

Don't let anyone cheat you out of a real sex life! God's instructions are clear - sex is for use in marriage only. Statistics have repeatedly shown this to be true: In survey after survey, it's married people that have the healthiest, the happiest, and even the most frequent sex lives. (That makes perfect sense: it's all the enjoyment of the moment, without any of the regret later on!)

The world will try to tell my kids that "Hooking up with them is no big deal...it's just sex."

But my kids will know the truth: "We weren't made to 'hook up'. We were made to fuse together in a permanent marriage."