The Seventh Commandment - Married, And Loving It!

Exodus 20:14 - "You shall not commit adultery."

This is pretty clear, right? Any married person having sex outside of that two-part marriage covenant is in clear violation of God's Law.

Make no mistake about this:
- it doesn't matter how your spouse is treating you
- it doesn't matter if you've "fallen in love" with someone else
- and it doesn't matter what you want or feel
Any sexual relations outside of your marriage covenant is wrong!

Breaking A Serious Commitment

We live in a society that places almost no value on commitment, and way too much value on emotions. But your covenant with your husband or wife wasn't intended to be based on emotions. Your love - and your faithfulness - has to be based on what you promised, not on what you feel at the moment.

God has a high regard for marriage. It was the last thing He created, and the first human institution He set up. Only in marriage do the man and the woman reflect all of God's nature. Marriage was set up as God's way of passing faith and morals from one generation to the next. 

Not only that, but marriage was also intended to be a display of God's relationship to us.

Husbands were intended to model God's love and faithfulness toward us.

Wives were inteded to model our honor and faith in Him.

Working together like this, spouses are supposed to be an object lesson of how God wants to relate to us.

For all of those reasons - adultery is devastating. 

Adultery destroys lives and tears families apart. It carries from one generation to the next like a disease. Many thousands of men and women - even people who were strong in faith and used mightily by God - have fallen to the sin of adultery. And God hates it!

The Bible shows us some of the tragic consequences of adultery:

- It will bring consequences from other people (Proverbs 6:34)

- It will destroy your life, and the lives of those around you (Proverbs 6:32)

- It will keep you from the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

- It will even bring God's judgment (Hebrews 13:4)

Equally Destructive

For most people, it's clear that going outside of your marriage for sexual gratification is wrong. We can see that there are drastic consequences for adulterers. But what we don't seem to realize is that adultery isn't just a physical act.

Matthew 5:27-28 - "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already commited adultery with her in his heart."

Do you remember the sixth commandment? Do you remember that God judges hatred to be murder? In the same way, God also judges lust to be adultery. Looking at someone other than your spouse and desiring them is adultery...and it will break your marriage apart just as fast!

I'm writing this as one of the millions of Christian men that got wrapped up in pornography at an early age. I understand the long-lasting, and disastrous effects of looking with lust. I know the shame that comes from trying to keep that lust a secret. (And I thank God for the freedom I found in grace, and the forgiveness I found from my wife!)

Let me testify here: God's warning against the lust of the eyes is spot on! If you continue to look with desire at someone else (whether that's in-person or on a screen), you will destroy every life around you.

This is one reason why God poured out His grace on us! He has empowered us to live a godly life. Because of this newfound power, God now expects us to go further than mere outward obedience. Now He expects obedience from the heart. We must go further than abstaining from illegal relations. We must follow the insight found in Job 31:1 - "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman."

Caught Up With Your Spouse

Proverbs 5:15-18 gives us the answer to adultery. Following these instructions can prevent a lifetime of sorrow, regret and consequences. 

First, look at what verses 15-17 say in the ERV

"Now, about sex and marriage: Drink only the water that comes from your own well, and don't let your water flow out into the streets. Keep it for yourself, and don't share it with strangers."

There are certain things that need to stay between the two of you. Clearly, this includes sex - but is not limited to that one act. Lots of affairs (physical affairs and those of the heart) start with giving away something that belongs only to the person you married.

- It could be your time

- It could be your attention
- It definitely includes your eyes and your desire

- Maybe it's an attempt to impress

- A intimate friendship and close confidence

- Or any other sense of fulfillment

You know the things that belong to you and your spouse. You know what's special to your marriage. Don't take those things and give them away to anyone.

More safeguards can be found in verses 18 and 19:

"Be happy with your own wife. Enjoy the woman you married while you were young...Let her love satisfy you completely. Stay drunk on her love..."

A lot of adultery actually starts when someone thinks they're missing something with their spouse. That idea naturally leads to looking around and wondering if those "missing needs" would've been met if they found someone else. All too often, we get so caught up in these "what-if's" that we lose sight of what we have in front of us! 

God gave you everything that you could want in your spouse. He knew what your desires were, and He placed them all inside that one person. You can be fully satisfied with them, this is an awesome thing! Ask me how I know this. I am 100% caught up with my wife! And this is how any husband should feel about his own wife.

You couldn't pry my eyes away from her. True to what God said, I am drunk on her! Ask anyone who knows us: If she's around, my eyes are automatically locked on her. With all my focus only on her, sometimes I can't even remember if someone else is in the room!

This is why I can confidently say that our marriage is invincible. There is nothing out there - no screen, no movie, no other woman - that can give me what this incredible woman does. She makes my life better just by being with me - and I am infinitely grateful for her.

And that, my friends, is the answer to adultery: Gratitude.

God handpicked your spouse and sent them your way. You were happy with them (I know this because you married them!) - now don't forget what you have! Be thankful for them. Be thankful to them. And be happy with them...that's a command!