Truth My Kids Will Know - That's Not Your Friend

 Lie #4 - "But They're My Friend!" 

In my opinion, Facebook has totally cheapened the meaning of the word "friend".

Someone is not your friend just because they follow you on a Social Media platform. They're not your friend because they liked your post or shared your meme. (And the flip of that is true also - if they didn't do those things, that doesn't keep them from being your friend.) Friendship isn't defined by the group of people you're popular with at the moment. It's a much deeper idea than identifying people that "know who you are."

"Friendship" is a powerful word. It's a statement of covenant - not to be applied to people you vaguely know or are acquainted with somehow. In real friendships, there are important responsibilities on both sides. So just because you don't have hard feelings toward a person - that doesn't make them your "friend". 

Believe it or not - you can choose your friends on purpose. You don't have to just fall into a group of people and stay there. In fact - you need to be intentional about who your friends are. Why?

Your Friendships Define You To Others

"If the true nature of a man isn't clear to you at first, examine the nature of his friends." - Ancient Japanese proverb.

There's an American proverb that echoes this: "The character of a man is reflected by the actions of his friends."

It's no secret that people will judge you by the company you keep. Believe it or not, it's also true that people have a right to judge you that way. In fact, you would be wise to examine yourself using that same standard. Like it or not, you are who you hang with.

Take a long look at the people you're spending your time with: Do you really want to be defined by their behavior? Do you want others to identify you with them? Do you want their life to become yours? 

Looking at my own circle of friends in this way, I'm happy to say that I like what I see! I'm hoping people will lump me together with them...it would probably improve what they think of me!

For Better Or Worse: Your Friendships Affect Your Life

This is the most powerful argument for intentional friendships - your life will rise and fall based on the company you keep. Look at what Proverbs 13:20 says: "He who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed."

This verse doesn't say that fools will be destroyed - does it? No, it says the companion of fools will be destroyed. When they're directed toward the wrong people, your friendships can destroy you!

Think of it:

How many people are in jail right now because they "fell in" with the wrong crowd?

How many people have died in tragedies...situations that they were only a part of because of their friends?

Make no mistake about this - keep this idea in your mind - deciding who your friends are will bring eternal consequences.

If you think I'm putting too much emphasis on this, read 1 Corinthians 15:33 - "Do not be deceived; evil company corrupts good habits."

In the NIrV Bible, it reads like this: "Don't let anyone fool you. Bad companions make a good person bad."

God blatantly warns us about this; don't be tricked into thinking that it doesn't matter who your friends are. Even if you're otherwise innocent, you will still experience the consequences of their bad behavior. Even worse than that; their bad behavior will inevitably become yours over time. If that's currently your only choice in friendships, then it'd be better to remain temporarily friend-less.

But here's the good news: This effect isn't all in the negative! Look back at Proverbs 13:20 and notice the positive side. If you want to be wise, this verse shows you the way: Walk together with wise people. Yes, your character can be corrupted by bad friends...but it can also be improved with the right ones!

Proverbs 27:17 NLT - "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

Isn't that the kind of friend you want? Isn't this better than hanging out with someone you always have to defend and excuse? Don't you prefer a friend that will build up  your character instead of pull it down?

While the world is falling for the lie that friendships don't matter that much, my kids will know this truth: "My life will rise or fall based on my circle of friends."