Truth My Kids Will Know - Overcoming "Unfairness"

 Lie # 16 - "Their life is better than mine...someone should make things more fair!"

Listen, life can be just brutal sometimes.

There are a lot of things that just aren't fair.

Some people happen to be in the right places at the right times - and others experience just the opposite.

Some people have the right connections - and others seem to always be on the outside.

Some people have great families while growing up - but others have terrible families (many even have NO families at all).

Not everyone starts out in the same place in life.

Not everyone has access to the same opportunities.

Not everyone has people on their side helping them.

In fact, you will never see two people that have exactly the same combination of skills, life experiences, habits and attitudes.

Put all of these factors together, and that means that life ends up very differently for different people.

Is that "unfair" to people who end up with difficult lives and struggle with failure?

Well, if by "unfair" you mean sad and unfortunate - absolutely it is.

Life simply is not fair. There will always be someone else who has more than you do. (Incidentally, while you're looking at someone who has more and complaining about it being "unfair"...there are others looking at you saying the same thing.) Listen to me, that's just life.

- Sometimes you can point your finger at someone else and blame them for your disadvantage.

- Other times it's just the way things worked out.

Either way - everyone ends up facing some kind of disadvantage in their life at some point.

It's not all about money either.

Sure, that's the easiest way for Americans to measure how much "better off" someone else is. But what about a wealthy kid who is born into a terrible family? Don't you think they see healthy parent-child relationships and say "that's not fair!" 

Not only that - perfect lives are actually a disadvantage whenever difficulty arises. No skills or experience gained in a problem-free life will be useful when problems inevitably come. 

But someone who has faced and overcome adversity over and over again has the experience to rely on - which is a major advantage - when then next problem comes.

What Everyone Can Do To Level The Playing Field

What can you do when you seem to have a disadvantage? What does it mean when you don't have the same level of skill, experience, support, or resources as someone else? If you start off wrong, does that mean you're destined to a life of failure and disadvantage?

Some people seem to think so. There are a lot of people who have become perpetual "little brothers" - whining "that's not fair!" whenever they see someone doing better than they are. Millions of people have given up on their life. They've been taught by our culture that they will never be able to succeed because someone else took all of the success away from them.

But I have good news for you - that's not true!

It doesn't matter if you lack skill. It doesn't matter if you lack intelligence. It doesn't matter if you lack all the right connections. It doesn't matter what kind of family you come from.

There is one tool that everyone has available to them that can make them a success if they will use it. If you'll put this one thing to work, you'll find things will start going your way more often. You can see this in Proverbs 12:27 - "But diligence is man's precious possession."

Diligence will bring success to anyone.

Diligence will raise anyone up out of a disadvantage

Diligence will overcome any lack of skill, intelligence, or experience.

In fact...whenever those things are lacking, diligence will produce them!

(Intelligence comes with diligent study. Skill comes with diligent practice. Experience comes with diligent persistence.)

I've heard diligence defined as "hard work". While that is mostly true, I would add two more words to this definition: Diligence is "persistent, focused hard work". Diligent people don't just work hard, they consistently work hard toward a goal. 

A diligent student works hard toward mastering their study.

A diligent worker works hard toward excelling at their job.

A diligent husband works hard toward learning about his wife and making her happy.

A diligent disciple of Jesus works hard toward studying His Word and following His steps.

Proverbs 10:4 - "He who has a slack hand will be poor, but the hand of the diligent makes rich."

No matter if you've had a good life, or if you had to start with a disadvantage; diligence is the most effective tool you will ever use. I promise you, if you'll use correctly, you will succeed.

If Anyone Had A Disadvantage...

Have you ever heard of a man named Benjamin Turner? If anyone could complain about life not being fair, it was this man. He was born in North Carolina in 1825, and he spent the first forty years of his life as a slave. His life was not his own, and was considered property that could be bought or sold by other people. He was forced to relocate from North Carolina to Alabama...with no regard to the life or family he had before. As a slave, he was even forbidden to learn how to read or write.

In spite of these massive disadvantages and outright crimes against him, Benjamin did not give up. He secretly learned how to read and write while he was a slave. He got his freedom after the Civil War was over and went to work as a merchandise trader. Later he started his own business as a horse boarder. Within seven years, Benjamin went from being a slave to having a net worth of $10,000 dollars (the equivalent of almost $200,000 today)!

Clearly, Benjamin's diligence made him a success - no matter how "unfair" his life was. But it did more than that...In 1872, Benjamin was elected to be a Republican congressman. He became Alabama's first black representative in the United States congress. During his term as congressman, Benjamin actually fought to restore legal rights back to former Confederates - the people who had previously fought to keep him as a slave!

Why would he do that? Because, diligence not only brings hope and success, it will also guard you against bitterness. When you're pushing through obstacles and succeeding, you'll find yourself too busy to be resentful toward people trying to stop you.

The Choice Is Yours

My friend, you will experience unfairness in life.

You WILL see people who are more successful than you are. 

You WILL see lives that are easier than yours.

You WILL see people promoted over you, just because someone likes them more.

You WILL hear your peers complaining about how "unfair" life is.

And that's when you'll have a choice:

 - You can decide that someone out there is always going to "keep you down", and just give up.

        OR

 - You can push through it, stay focused, and succeed!

But remember this, you MUST make the choice - It is impossible to do both!

Proverbs 13:4 - "The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich."

There's no accidental success for people who surrender to adversity and abandon their diligence. They will not be able to stumble their way out of failure.

There's also no permanent failure for people who push forward and diligently persevere. There isn't a hard enough fall to keep them out of success! 

And that will describe my kids. They WILL succeed when others fail. Why?

Because they will know that diligence is the most valuable thing they'll ever own.

My kids will push through failure, past the masses who have just given up, and will find their success on the other side!